I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
