Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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