careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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