Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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