I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Randomize
