would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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