your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
