Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
