Whoa Z and x make the same sound
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
