Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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