I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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