I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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