I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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