He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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