if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
