I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
