i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
