My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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