mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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