I wish I could teleport
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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