I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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