I bet he comes in French.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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