We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
