Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
