i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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