I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
