So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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