i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
