so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
