I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I have tasted many bathrooms
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
