Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
