What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
