he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
