batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
