It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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