He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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