Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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