Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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