Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
