btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
