i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
