just come out here and I will go home with you...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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