So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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