all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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