his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
40s are totally the cure
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