Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
