Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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