Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
