The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
