Hey man sorry I got all grabby
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
