I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
