I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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