I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
