okay pat passed out under dana's car
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
