is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
